Narrator>> this is the closest i can come to saying what I have learned
there's no shortage of consequence in my life
we need to leave some evidence,
a little of us everywhere
I spent all my time staring in one direction
and I missed it
the most important moments
were in the edges
there were seven of them.
Karl>> over there
turn around!
Sheriff mallon>> Conrad?
You are going to have to drive
conrad>> you know, you are really bleeding
get in the car, come on!
Mallon>> hit a deer on the way here
- clipped her really
she went flying headfirst into a snowdrift,
was not breathing so I took the defibrillator over to her
next thing I know she is wide awake
and she kicks me in the face-Jesus!
Conrad>> you are bleeding pretty badly
you sure you do not want me to take you to a hospital?
Mallon>> no, no. I have taken some percodan. I can hardly feel any of this.
Conrad>> there is a lot of blood
mallon>> you - you got your own burden
mallon>> mother being found after all these years
hell-i hope we have enough so you can ID her
conrad>> all I need are the teeth
mallon >> yeah we should have those
cleared out the freezer and put her parts in there
everyone from the station got to take some venison home
conrad>> guess you folks do not get a lot of crime up here huh?
Mallon>> no sir. Especially murder.
Not til we found this body did we think that he-
literally killed her
speaking of your father-
your aunt thinks you may have been talking with him?
Conrad>> I have not seen my father since I left the farm
mallon>> seen is a tricky word. No contact at all?
Conrad>> no
mallon>> if you have been talking to him, and you do not tell us about it
that could be considered accessory after the fact
mallon>> Abigail, this is Conrad
do not worry about it, it is just a cut
abigal>> it is terrible.
Mallon>> you are making a mountain out of a mole hill.
Conrad>> I told him to go
mallon>> Jesus, oh god. It is ok, I am ok. Do not help me, i do not want help
abigail>> we got to get him patched up
abigail>> do you mind staying here to hold down the fort?
It is just the two of us and the deputy has been on duty since yesterday
everybody and his dog is sliding off the road
conrad>> you want me to stay here alone-
abigail>> yes. I know it is weird, but - ok, thanks!
Okay, come on you
mallon>> no, no, no, no. No, no! I got work to do!
Conrad>> you really need to go
abigail>> I win. Be strong, come on. Mallon>> okay
mallon>> sorry about this Conrad
Abigail >> alright, thanks
Conrad >>mm hmm
Karl >>do you know what that word means?
It is what you do to a woman when there is no pleasure in it
abigail>> Conrad, Conrad-
abigail>> Conrad, um -hi
sorry abou that. Hungry?
Sheriff was supposed to put you up tonight, but he is in no real position to entertain... so
conrad>> is there a motel?
Abigail>> in Chapman?
No
you are kind of stuck with me...
I am on duty for the next few ours, so...
The deputy found a new bit of evidence - murder weapon.
Right about sixty feet from the bones
the handle was chewed up like an animal dragged it all about.
Conrad>> sawed off shotgun?
Abigail>> yeah
conrad>> I looked in the freezer. It is not my mother.
Abigail>> are you sure?
Conrad>> yeah. Her teeth were...A mess
it is not her.
Abigail>> well- i mean, who could it be then?
We do not just have people unaccounted for
conrad>> it is my father
abigail>> who would have wanted to kill your father?
Conrad>> himself
abigail>> this happens a lot this time of year.
I cannot believe I only have one blanket. Jeez! Brrr.
Conrad>> this day could not get any weirder
abigail>> what was she like, your monther?
Conrad>> she would never leave me alone with my father for more than two seconds
abigail>> do you think maybe she is still alive?
Conrad>> no,i do not have any hope of that
you want to hear something
abigail>> okay
conrad>> about four weeks after she disappeared,
my father took me on a walk out in the woods
karl>> over there
turn around
you wet yourself
get up or you will freeze to stump.
Get on home. You best hurry up.
Conrad>> when we got back he started the fire on the stove,
he told me to stand by it, and he waited the whole time it took for me to thaw out.
In the morning he was gone. I never saw him again.
Abigail>> it must be so terrible for you to be back here. I'm so sorry
conrad>> no I feel better about it now.
Abigail>> because you know he is dead?
Conrad >> it is knowing that he intended to include himself.
Makes it less personal
narrator >> it all started when my family moved from Illinois to new Mexico
mom>> stop it. How many times have I told you that is bad for your eyes?
Mom >> stop it
charlie>> is dad going to pick me up after school?
Mom>> no, you are going to walk home.
Charlie>> mom!
Narrator >> the doctor insisted we move to a warmer climate
for the sake of my father
I remember not knowing what to do, but knowing that I wanted to be the least of their worries.
And then I saw him.
All I could remember on my first day of school was the menacing look he had on his face.
His name was Bobby bell.
Boy #1>> one, two, three
bobby>> hey, you want to play?
So, know how to play?
Charlie>> what is this game?
Boy #1>> you have to hit it before it bounces twice
but you cannot hit it before it bounces
and you cannot let it double bounce or you are out
charlie>> okay!
Boy #1>> sound simple enough?
Charlie>> yeah I guess.
Bobby>> so, where you from?
Charlie>> uhm, Chicago
bobby>> Chicago. What is your favorite food?
Charlie>> anything I guess really
bobby>> tacos?
Charlie>> I guess
bobby>> yeah the rest of the game though, you have to stand right here
against the wall, but you cannot move.
You cannot move. Stay still!
Stay!
Charlie>> so just like this? I thought, am I -
yep, yes, just back up against the wall and stay here
okay
boy>> you're doing great
charlie>> good one
bobby>> do not move!
Stay
dad>> hey, the new Mexico outlaw is back. How was your first day at school?
Mom>> make any new friends?
It is okay if he did not. I did not make any my first year either
I was just asking. Did you honey?
Charlie>> yeah
charlie>> are you going to lose all your hair?
What?
Charlie>> in my book, it says, when you have this disease, you could lose all your hair
dad>> oh you are a doctor now. Let us have a look.
don not read books like this.
Narrator >> as months went by, I remember trying to do something -
narrator >> anything. Whatever I could do to help my father win his fight.
And suddenly, like a disease, word spread around school.
Dad>> you know they say the cubs could go all the way this year. All the waaaay!
Dad>> I have been thinking about this disease. It is like a bunch of uninvited guests.
You did not ask them to come. They just showed up one day and did not go home.
Bobby>> dad die yet Charlie?
Teacher>> I can't believe you did that...
Teacher>> come on kids let us go.
Dad>> Charlie
dad>> you want to explain yourself?
Dad>> this fight that I am having is mine. You understand?
Mom>> Charlie
narrator >> his fight was also mine
I am much older now, but a part of me is still in that bed beside him.
The other part back on that playground,
hoping that fight put me back together again.
Amanda>> pelicans can fly three thousand miles without stopping
in the first world war-pelicans transported supplies across enemy lines
narrator >> Amanda peeled labels, chewed nails, ate the caps off pens
twice she tried to kill herself
I used to think we would be best friends forever and not just sisters
that was before dad died
before she went to rehab for the third time
before I moved far away from the mess I used to call home
lisa>> hey you know uh, we were invited over to Timmy later
amanda>> I do know
what? I talk to him. He is my ex-boyfriend
lisa>> yeah after he was mine
amanda>> I have no problem with leftovers
it does not even make any sense, saying I drink like a fish
it is like saying I read like a word
lisa>> Amanda, who said you drink like a fish?
Mom just said you should not drive
amanda>> mom said you should not drive.
Amanda>> you know what, you are more like the fish. Lisa>> I am ignoring that
amanda>> come on. You are being a haddock. Like a smoked haddock you know?
Lisa>> ok I have been home for like an hour-
can we just have a normal conversation please?
Amanda>> sorry
lisa>> oh!
Amanda>> does anybody want a muddy Mary?
With some leaves on top?
Crap.
Oh! You know what she should do?
We should go inside and get a cognac
that is the perfect dusk drink!
Lisa>> do you think you should just slow down a little bit?
Amanda>> why?
I am celebrating my sisters annual abbreviated trip to the homeland
lisa>> okay - well the sun does not go down for another three hours
amanda>> yeah, but if you get started early, anything is possible
you of all people should know that Lisa.
Amanda performing>> the combined IQ of a colony of ants
exceeds the intellect of most us senators
lisa>> my mother
ophelia>> you wish to eat me!
Lisa>> one drink made her queen Victoria
and three took her out of it
sydney>> I was under the impression that Amanda liked margaritas - loved margaritas
lisa>> counting his cock
what me and Amanda used to call our stepfather self fondeling
sydney>> what are we going to do with all these margaritas?
I was under the impression that Amanda liked marga-
ophellia>> what are you talking about? We have heard you already.
Ophellia>> go find your sister!
Sydney>> sweetie, go see where she is okay? Huh? Thank you.
Sydney >> what the hell would you do with the rest of these?
Amanda >> an ant is attracted to the genitals of all mammals
both male and female.
Sydney >> do not point at me - my mother is not dead
what, what? I'm ready with the glasses ok-
lisa>> hey!
Amanda>>
lisa>> oh my god - oh god - come on
come here
lisa>>
lisa>> oh shit
Amanda >>
lisa>> honey?
Amanda >>
lisa>> seriously - you are acting and you made me drag you all the way in here?
Amanda >> stripped of its stinger -
a bee becomes nothing more than a raisin with wings...
Lisa>> did you ever notice that there are no streetlights in this town that work?
You still work at that delivery place?
Amanda>> yes - yes. That is what i am doing. No - actually - i quit that three years ago
do you know anything about - me - what I am doing - anything at all?
Lisa>> okay - uhm - let us not
amanda>> okay - I work at a dock and I manage a band
lisa>> have I heard of them?
Amanda>> do you listen to any decent bands?
Amanda>> I wanted to do some more artistic stuff so i decided to become a monologuist
lisa>> is that like a comic?
Amanda>> no, it is like uhm, performance art, you know?
Amanda>> so I would tell stories about my life
and I would incorporate facts about animals and sort of do this -
lisa>> awe inspiring
amanda>> yeah - I kept trying to push the show and push, push, push!
Amanda>> I was just hoping eventually somebody would get what I was going for
amanda>> do you know what i mean?
Lisa>> yeah
amanda>> yeah
lisa>> I mean - I have a kind of idea of the man I want but -
the fucking clowns i meet are never anywhere close
Amanda >> the stingerless bee becomes an outcast
and must make its way in a world alone
lisa>> thinness is genetic. Like baldness
amanda>> unless you are me and then you are really skinny but that is because you never eat
right? Look at that. Look at it. You wanna put your little nose in there?
You wanna put your little nose in there? There - put your little nose in it.
I like your hair. Do not listen to my sister.
Lisa>> do you have any drinking beverages in here?
Amanda >> a pelican can fly three thousand miles without stopping.
In the first world war - pelicans were used to transport supplies against enemy lines.
The combined IQ of a colony of ants exceeds that of the intelligence of most us senators
my sister and I went to see the famous monkeys at the St. Louis zoo.
Lisa>> what famous monkeys?
Amanda>> the monkeys shared a tail.
Amanda >> you could not tell where the first monkey ended
and the next monkey began
Lisa >> I forgot how many signs we had.
The hand signal that indicated someone was lying.
The nostril flare that meant we were dealing with a loser.
The hiccup that said, let us get the hell out of here.
Amanda>> they would never let anything separate them
not even the third monkey
who went into the kitchen to get the first monkey a drink
amanda>> and then one day
their father crashed into a tree
and monkey one and monkey two dived into the magic bottle.
And monkey one transformed into a bird.
And monkey two transformed into a fish.
And when they spoke to each other
neither of them could understand what each other was saying anymore
Amanda >> what do you think?
Lisa >> you are prettier than I am
amanda>> yeah, I am.
Monica>> hi, I am Monica.
Mr. chub>> I am mr chub. May i see your drivers license?
Monica >> why you get a lot of strange women pretending to me maids?
Monica >> usually i do not mind being carded, but not at work.
Mr. chub>> please, come in.
Mr. chub>> oh - I have my own vacuum.
Monica >> nice condo. He could be an agent. It always pays to wear lipstick.
Mr. chub>> so, uh, Monica - did you bath this morning?
Monica >> seriously? Nine A.M. and he is already picturing me naked.
Mr. chub>> ooh I want you. You will not be sorry.
Monica>> no! You are my employer. We should keep it that way.
Besides I don't think my boyfriend would like it very much
monica>> what? You do not have the right to ask me that.
Mr. chub>> I did not mean to offend. I just have a thing about cleanliness.
Monica >> so i noticed.
His hair is kind of nappy though - I mean natty - natty is not a racist word, is it?
I dated a black guy once
come this way. Thank you.
Monica>> wow.
Monica >> ever think about knocking?
Mr. chub>> I did not mean to startle you.
Monica>> well, you did.
Mr. chub>> you work very intently. Call if you need me.
Monica>> I am fine, thank you.
Missy >>have you forgotten the way to El Paso?
I am doing all right - really.
I know you heard they cut out that lump I had that you did not know about.
Which is why I am writing, because I know some dumb somebody told you.
My own way of telling you would have been more fun for both of us.
Anyway, it is out, and there is a little cut like a smiley face under my nipple. You will like it.
Come see the girl who loves you no matter what. Hear me? Do not step on my heart.
Your only one - miss famous
Monica >> course i will change all the names.
You do not have to get permission to do that, do you?
I love you!
Stop it. Oh, thank you.
Oh-don't go get a tattoo now.
Mr. chin>> you bring your lunch here often?
Monica >> please do not sit down.
Monica>> I used to.
Mr. chin>> what is your name?
Monica>> that is not really important.
I bet I can guess your nickname. Foxy.
Monica >> why do these banker types always hit on me?
Monica>> wrong its sting, actually.
Sting! Your nickname is sting?
Monica>> I bet I know your nickname.
Monica >> poophead. Asshole. Jerkoff.
What?
Monica>> nevermind.
So you must like the police, the band. Cause of the lead singer.
Monica>> oh my god, that is gross.
Mr. chin>> I guess they are not a band anymore.
Monica>> not for like thirty years.
Monica>> the last man who called me sting stepped on my heart.
That is too bad. You know I have seen you before.
I have actually been looking for you.
Brian>> you know I have been looking for you for months.
Monica>> well, here I am.
Thank god your book came out. Your publisher gave me your number.
Monica>> he should not have done that.
Brian>> sweet Monica. Will you marry me?
Monica>> it fits.
Mr chinn>> so you say he broke your heart?
Monica>> huh?
You said the guy who broke your heart.
Monica>> I did not say he broke it. I said he stepped on it.
You have a resilient heart. I like that. I like that a lot.
Excuse me. Hello?
I gotta bounce. Okay, yeah, i will see you around foxy.
Mr chin >> yeah, no, he called me.
Mrs. nighetti>> time for a break.
Monica>> I just started.
The way you dust you deserve one.
Monica >> here we go again.
Mrs. nighetti> only my Vincent makes his mother happy with a grandchild.
Mrs. nighetti [With Monica narrating over >> nine boys, and only one grandchild.
But my Vincent he names his daughter carlotta, which you may not know,
but my name is carlotta. He names her after his mother, my Vincent.
Monica >> you have told me that a million times.
Monica>> do you have any new pictures?
Mrs. nighetti> you would think that wife of his would know i want new pictures every week
but she is too busy getting famous. I am going to be a famous model, she says.
To listen to her talk, the baby set her back years.
Oh, maybe you have not seen this one...
Monica >> I bet i have.
There is my girl.
Monica>> sweetie its time for dinner.
Sally>> I wanna keep playing.
Brian>> just let her play.
Mrs. nighetti>> so has that Brian come to his senses yet?
Has he come rushing to you with an armful of roses?
Monica>> have not heard a word.
Monica >> but I am sure I will as soon as his wife pops that kid out.
Monica > >she is not that great
a little younger than I am
Monica >> horrible laugh but she sure knew how to trap him.
Monica >> probably was not even on the pill.
Brian >> straighten out - straighten out babe!
Monica>> I will not go to him. He has to come to me.
Babysitter>> you are late again.
Monica>> sorry.
Babysitter>> she had a nap.
Monica>> good.
Babysitter>> thanks.
Monica >> after the book comes out. Sally will need a private tutor.
I will be making appearances all over the world.
Monica>> Turkey or bologna?
Sally>> bologna!
Monica >> I will start writing it soon.
I will describe his spotless condo.
The way he walked.
The way his little voice rode the air.
The mysterious woman from El Paso
and especially his shirts.
The way they faced the same direction, one after another.
Like promises kept. Like the days of a life.
Monica>> hey!
Sally>> can you read to me?
Monica>> um - sure I can tell you a story
monica>> ummm
monica>> there once was a very beautiful young woman named cinderella
and she lived in a castle, i think.
And she lived with her evil step mom and two or three mean step sisters.
And she had to clean the house every single day. Top to bottom.
And then one day there was an announcement on TV that said there would be a big ball.
And she really wanted to go
beause she knew that the man she was supposed to be with was going to be there.
And she knew if she went there she would...
Live happily ever after and be a very famous writer.
>> Hi Paul, it is Laura. I heard you were going to be in town
so I thought maybe if you had time you could stop by
I would really like you to meet my son Chris. We are at my moms house
>> 'next message'
caddy>> hi Paul. They just released your father and we should be home soon
I do not want you to be surprised when you see him, okay? He has gotten worse.
The stroke left him agitated. Maybe you can take him for a drive tomorrow
he always liked that.
Caddy>> so good to see you.
Edmund>> l... let... let go.
Caddy>> maybe you should get rid of that thing. Do you not need a truck for your business?
Edmund>> lazy, does not like anything old.
Paul>> stop that. Call her caddy please.
Caddy>> Paul would you help me in the kitchen please.
Caddy>> Laura brought us home from the hospital.
Paul>> did she?
Caddy>> she had the boy with her.
Edmund>> that boy looks exactly like you.
Paul>> boys not mine.
Caddy>> we know that.
Edmund>> that kid is the spitting - mmm - mmm
paul>> spitting image. Spitting image.
Caddy>> not in the house.
There are blankets and sheets on the couch.
And shower - I could smell the wood lacquer on your skin.
Paul>> stop that. Just stop.
Edmund>> just like me. Not long for the world.
Paul>> no just needs a little love that is all. Just a little bit of love.
Watch this
see dad, told you, she is not ready to leave me yet.
Paul>> what does mom make of all that smoking stuff?
Edmund>> I do not know.
Paul>> I read somewhere a couple weeks ago
that doctors are saying they're actually good for you
especially if you had stroke there suppose to really good
edmund>> oh that is perfect. I am going to remember that.
Paul>> good. Edmund>> yeah.
Edmund>> how is work?
Paul>> I quit the.. I quit the paper.
Edmund>> why? You are a good writer.
Paul>> yeah I make furniture full time now
edmund>> well - you always liked wood.
Paul>> mom did not tell you that?
Edmund>> she does not tell me a goddamn thing. But she - she - she told me that.
Edmund>> oh, I knew you would make that turn.
Paul>> what do you mean? No, you said go anywhere. I do not care we can go anywhere.
Edmund>> you cannot keep away from her.
Paul>> what are you talking about?
Paul>> oh look, hey, no, no, i did not even notice this was her street.
Edmund>> oh well, you do not notice most things.
Paul>> oh, I do not notice most things? Is that not interesting...
Edmund>> you see, he looks just like, just like you when you were young.
Paul>> yeah... well that kid is not my kid.
Edmund>> look at him!
Paul>> what do I gotta look at him for? Hey, hey, hey, listen -
that is not my son. That is not my son, I do not know why you do not get that.
Why am I gonna look at him. Thats not my son. What a dumb thing to say.
Caddy>> did he smoke?
Paul>> yeah, I did not see a point in keeping him from it.
Paul>> we drove past the, by Laura's house. How is she doing these days?
Caddy>> she thinks of herself as family. Coming to the hospital and everything.
Paul>> you know, I do not know how you put up with that every day.
He is so rude. He does not know he is being rude. He drives around saying shit...
Caddy>> your father has always been a little mean. It is all he has got left.
I cannnot deny him the one thing that he can still feel.
Paul>> I do not remember any meanness in him.
Caddy>> glad you feel that way. I do not have a particular hole in my memory.
Everyone has a little meanness in them.
You should see the child.
Caddy>> I know. He is not your son. But she was your wife.
Paul>> she was my wife.
She led me to believe we would get back together for four months
and just never bothered to say, umm, oh I am pregnant.
Caddy>> sometimes, honey, people cannot speak their thoughts.
Other words come out instead.
Go see them.
Laura>> you come to see me, or him?
Paul>> you look like yourself.
Laura>> I suppose that is a compliment.
Paul>> so what are you up to these days?
Laura>> umm, I am a teller at the bank, but mostly I take care of cliff. And, uh, you?
Paul>> I make furniture now. Business is improving.
Eventually there might be some money in it. But I am happier around the lumber.
Laura>> I remember you always used to say, wood cannot be forced.
You have to discover the form within.
Paul>> I do not think I said that bullshit,
but if I did it was probably just to impress you.
Laura>> you did.
Paul>> hey buddy. How old are you?
You are a big boy.
You like horses? Huh?
You can have him, if you want him.
Laura>> hey honey, you want to run inside and show grandma your new toy?
Mommy is going to talk to her friend.
Laura>> that was kind of you.
Laura>> you are still driving the swinger?
Paul>> my dad loves her. I let him smoke in it. He, uh, is not himself anymore. You know.
Sometimes he looks like my father. Occasionally sounds like my father, but he is...
Laura>> I thought it would be to strange to send you pictures.
I had a fling. He looked like you.
Paul>> I guess I should go.
Laura>> you know where to find us.
Paul>> yeah.
Paul>> my girl. My girl. That is what I wanted to say. You look yourself,
I wanted to say you look like my fucking girl, man.
Stupid ass idiot. Then what? Then what!? Then what? I do not know.
Paul>> what should I do?
Older Michael narrating>> we were locked out.
Older Michael narrating>> we would have to make a decision soon.
Break in or hike a few miles back to town.
But for now, we were teenaged boys with one concern.
Lee> a couple summers ago I was at church camp.
And you now how they have each day you got a different activity.
Well, this particular day it was art and crafts, and I mean i was not into it.
Lee>> you know I hate crafts. Michael>> you hate arts and crafts.
Lee>> yeah. So this girl, i kind of see her looking at me.
And she was beautiful. I mean, she had like this perfectly feathered hair
and she had the most incredible singing voice.
She could have had a record deal, that is what I told her. And so I was talking to her.
And we were supposed to be making those gods eyes with the yarn or whatever.
And I was like 'hey you want to get out of here?' And shes like 'okay'
so, I said come with me. And we start making out. You know,
it is like I am telling you. It is those innocent girls that get the craziest.
Michael>> they are crazy, naughty.
Lee>> it is like all repressed inside or something.
Lee>> and her ass. Oh my god.
Her ass was so round, it was like the most perfectly round thing that you have ever seen.
Michael>> like a bubble?
Lee>> I did not even know nature could create something -it was like a babies head.
Greg>> god dammit, Michael. Michael>> oh yeah, real soft. Like a babies cheeks.
Lee> yeah, yeah, just like two little babies heads.
Older Michael narrating>> it goes without saying that this was bullshit.
Lee was starving for information about sex just like the rest of us.
A few years back, lees father was caught performing an abortion and stripped of his license to operate.
Lee did not touch or comfort his father.
He did not ask about the law or justice or even who the woman was.
He only asked one thing
lee>> was she naked?
Lee>> she was such - such good pussy, man. What about you Greg?
Greg>> well, it was not quite as innocent as Bible camp...
Michael>> get ready for the bullshit.
Greg>> hey! So, I am out mowing my lawn.
Its my neighbors yard and she was probably like maybe forty something,
I am not sure, but she was not too old, but like just right!
And she comes out like half way through, alright -
lee>> and she invites me in for cookies and lemonade. Michael>> your neighbor??
Greg>> it is like.. Lee>> twinkies and lemonade?
Greg>> she must have known me, I do not know how, but she got me.
And next thing I know she comes back around twinkies, lemonade, no shirt, no bra.
Just tits man, they were like - if I had to compare them -
I would probably say like working with - maybe a mango - you know what I am saying.
Like a mango
almost like, you know how like when your checking the mango to make sure it is not rotten.
But it is squishy and stuff. Lee>> yeah, yeah, yeah.
Greg>> it is like a rotten mango. So anyway you know - i start
of course the twinkies and lemonade are long gone. Fuck that.
And so I am fucking her and she starts making this noise.
And dammit if I had a tape recorder for that noise. It was beautiful.
Michael>> what was it? Greg>> it was - it was a damn serenade of beauty.
Lee>> I want to hear the noise. Greg>> I wish I could create it. It was..
Michael>> yeah you can, go ahead. Come on. Make the noise.
Greg>> no I cannot. I cannot. I cannot.
Lee>> was it a little like -
michael>> yeah, like fucking a retarded pig kind of.
Greg>> no, no, no, no. It was like, you know what. Alright, for you all sakes.
Okay. I will make the noise, alright. One time show.
Michael & lee>> thank you, alright!
Greg>> please take it in, i might not do it justice. But i will give it a shot okay, so -
greg>> right here. It is like that.
It is just like, it is real long and deep like 'uuuuuhhhhh'
lee>> I thought this was the sound that she made. Not you.
Greg>> no that is the sound she made yeah.
Michael>> that is the sound she made!?
Older Michael narrating>> in fact, Greg was borrowing details from something he witnessed through a keyhole one night.
Gregs parents had invited some of their friends over.
They did this from time to time apparently.
Mother>> oh yeah
mother>> who is first?
Random guy one>> oh - I am first
Lee and michael>> bitchin man. Yeah man that is righteous.
Greg>> thank you. Thank you.
Yeah. No big deal. What about you, man. What about your lady Michael?
Lee>> I want to hear some dirty shit.
Michael>> okay, there is this one time.
Lee>> yeah, lets hear it. Greg>> yeah, ready for it.
Michael>> remember the Chandler game?
Lee & greg>> yeah, yeah.
Michael>> well the party. The party after the game.
You were not there but I went with my older brother.
And umm, it was all older chicks there. And you know.
Anyway, I was at this party and i look across the room and I see this girl.
You know I was sitting all the way across the room but somehow we just keep locking eyes.
And she is giving me this real intense stare. She was so beautiful man.
I mean like, movie star eyes and she is wearing this really cute outfit.
I glance down and I see shes got these white panties on
greg>> so, uhh, what about the white panties?
Michael>> so she found a way to show them to me. Just me.
Greg>> damn! Lee>> like - did you do anything about it? Come on.
Greg>> where are you going? That is cool about the white panties.
Older Michael narrating>> the story I told my friends was only part of the truth.
The white flash of the girl underwear did something to me.
I had to move, say something.
Greg>> so what did you do?
Michael>> well, I stand up and i just go straight across the room.
Michael>> I could tell she wanted me to do something. So - i reached out.
Greg>> oh really? What did you reach out for?
Michael>> well - I put my finger there.
Greg>> where? Where did you put it?
Michael>> put it there. Right - right fucking there. Right there.
Lee>> what happened from there? Just leave her sitting. Come on.
Michael>> alright, okay. Let me get to that.
Greg>> I am jealous - I would love to hear it.
Older Michael narrating>> because I was a virgin I could no describe what I did with the girl.
What I described was a landscape.
Mountains.
Fields.
The things around me.
I substituted the body of a woman for the body of the earth.
At least that is what I think i did.
We did not know exactly what we were saying. But we knew we were saying more than what was said.
Michael >> she wants it so. So i gave it to her. You know. I gave it to her real hard.
You know, real fast. Deep, you know.
I do not think I could have gotten deeper or gone harder.
Lee>> ahh, that is the best!
Michael>> yeah. And umm,
when it was all over - I just looked at her and then I left.
Greg>> that was a good story, man. Yeah, that was great. Look at us.
Lee>> umm, you guys want another cigarette?
Michael>> yeah. Greg>> it is about time for me.
Older Michael narrating>> we talked into the night.
Eventually we did hike the five miles back into town to call a locksmith.
But for now we were content to sit and smoke.
Three boys of no particular distinction.
Elevating as best we could, the fragile faith that our lives had meaning.
Keen narrating>> as much as anything ever really happens, this really did.
Keen narrating>> I guess you could say I was in that drifting phase...
You can call it whatever you want.
Somewhere between dropping out of college and the beginning of settling down.
I was headed home for the summer to straighten myself out.
But took a detour.
A couple thousand miles west of my intended destination.
Keen>> I ended up at this house in apex, Colorado.
My buddy clete was there.
Said he knew this girl that was dog sitting for some rich folks spending the summer in Scotland or something.
He said there was a full liquor cabinet, stockpile of shrooms and a free bed.
So it seemed worth a pit stop
god a lot of people lived in that house over the summer.
It was actually hard to tell who did and who did not on any particular day.
I know, I cannot remember a lot of their names.
Does it matter? Well there was barnett.
Party goer one>> cause she fucking squats when she pees.
Keen narrating>> you know barnett was a special kind of asshole, you know the type.
Barnett>> hey, my man! Keen narrating>> see it was bad to say, considering. But that is the truth.
Barnett>> I do not know if i like white women anymore. I do not even know which one to pick.
You know what I am saying. I was thinking about when I was throwing rocks at a river.
Anyway I would like to talk to you about it more if you got some time. Good shit.
Clete>> lions go after the weak link. Always the baby wildebeest, the retarded zebra, the gimpy little antelope.
Now, based on this evidence, what do you think this movie is called?
"Lion: The noble beast"
keen>> still talking about that fucking movie?
Clete>> it is a documentary. And it is significant.
Keen narrating>> clete was full of useful information from public television.
Clete>> for you. Take them and trip in good health.
Keen narrating>> like the cultural importance of baseball, or the healing powers of magic mushrooms
or the most effective methods of hunting in the desert.
See, those were the topics of conversation that summer.
And everyone was engaged in a horse race for the dog sitter - Lila.
Lila>> you looking for something?
Keen>> yeah, just some water.
Lila>> you are in the wrong place, buddy.
Whiskey and ice. It is my specialty. Plus, it is all we got left, so.
Keen narrating>> stu, nice guy, had a flare or the near overdose.
Keen>> what is up with him?
Lila>> been like that or hours. We do not know if it is drugs or something
keen>> or something? What do you mean or something?
Lila>> I do not know. A million things.
Lila>> you bastards.
Keen>> I think we are all bastards and saints. Just depends on the day.
Lila>> you are quite profound for someone from Ohio.
Keen narrating>> the way I saw it I had two options. Turn tail and head for home. Or throw my hat in the ring.
Keen narrating>> I mean, what would you do?
Keen narrating>> you cannot just sit next to a girl and expect her to unfold her life to you
like it is a shirt she is asking you to wear.
You have to show her that you are giving something up in order to talk to her.
I am telling you, man. If you want to get to the really good stories, you have to make an effort.
Lila >> high school, the lady friend.
Keen>> uhh, what do you want to know? Lila>> I want to know it all.
Keen>> she was not especially beautiful, but she was amazing to talk to
lila>> so you never saw her again?
Keen>> I kind of lost track of her. But I did see her, yeah, at our ten year reunion. Yeah.
Lila>> you went to your ten year reunion... Keen>> yeah I did. Why?
Lila>> no reason. I do not know. Keen>> okay.
Keen>> anyways she, she is married to some guy who works for NASA. Yeah. Lila>> fuck.
Keen>> they already had a kid. And another one on the way. Lila>> wow.
Keen>> yeah. The whole time i kept thinking about how crazy she used to be for me, you know?
How it could have been my kid, calling me daddy.
Like somehow I had given up my chance to walk on the moon.
Lila>> it is not to late you know. To walk on the moon.
Keen>> nah! I hate flying. Always have.
Lila>> is that right? Keen>> uh huh.
Barnett >> pussies! Pussies! Pussies!
Barnett>> you are the biggest pussy of them all.
Lila>> it is true.
Lila>> eww! Fuck you! Fuck you!
Keen>> fuck! Oww!
Clete >> we can get five cents for these. Wanna help me collect them?
Clete>> what happened to him?
Lila>> him or the other one?
Clete>> okay. This fucking guy.
Clete>> you coming?
Keen>> we cannot just leave him out here.
Clete>> well, wake him up.
Clete>> Jesus Christ.
Clete>> you could damage your bladder holding your pee that long.
Keen>> fuck it, now what?
Clete>> you are on the right track, maybe just thinking a little too small.
Keen>> fuck head, come here. Grab his arms I got an idea.
Clete>> oh shit. Yes sir, yes sir.
Keen>> alright walk this way.
Keen & clete together>> one, two, three!
Clete>> shit! Barnett wake up you bastard! Wake up barnett!
Clete>> he is fucking around.
Clete>> barnett!
Clete>> oh fuck!
Clete>> it is some consolation that he was an asshole.
Clete>> but - what are you going to tell Lila?
Keen>> nothing. We are not telling Lila anything.
Lila>> I cannot believe this. Who dies??
Keen>> can you not say it like that.
Lila>> like what?
Clete>> of all the days to run out of fucking alcohol!
Lila>> did you check his pulse?
Keen>> yeah.
Lila>> do not tell stu. Do not fucking tell anyone.
Lila >> promise me.
Lila>> promise me!
Keen>> I promise.
Keen narrating>> I do not think Lila had any second thoughts about being my girlfriend.
I did not. But you know how it is, you fall in love, you cannot see beyond it.
I guess that is where time, it just, gets away from you.
Keen>> is that shit or vomit?
Clete>> this is damnation territory.
Keen>> I may have had something to do with that.
Stu>> should someone say a few words?
Clete>> okay. Rest in peace. Umm, yeah. Amen.
Keen>> I think you should run some water.
Lila>> there is an idea.
Keen>> that is my shirt you know.
Keen>> wanna get married?
Lila>> my parents float me some money every couple months.
Lila>> that could pay for our marriage certificate.
Lila>> do you have any savings?
Keen>> do not worry I will buy you a big old ring.
Lila>> I guess I could go back to waitressing.
Keen>> yeah, that would be good.
Keen>> good morning, sir.
Sheriff>> morning - I hate to bother you. But your wife came by.
Sheriff>> said you murdered a man?
Keen narrating>>I mean it was perfect.
Keen narrating>>down to my damn underwear. Glass of whiskey in my hand.
I just looked at him and said - i would not call it murder.
I realize now that was a slip.
It is never easy to know what to say in the moment, is it?
You know, there is one last thing that I remember.
So all the dogs in town, they were barking at us when we arrived that first night.
Not knowing what we were getting into.
That I would murder a man. Manslaughter a dog. And fall in love.
Despite what you might think.
Those fucking dogs. They would not stop barking. What do you think that means??
Narrator>> some character will complain that his nowhere life is everyone else fault.
All you have to do is sit on the wrong stool.
To get the good stories you have to make an effort.
You have to live them.